Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
