omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
