Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
