I got chris browned last night
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
