my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
