so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize