its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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