I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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