I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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