Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize