Ketchup is God's man juice
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
