I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
