she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
