Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
MIDGETS
????
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
