The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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