"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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