I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
