Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
