like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
