Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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