Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
