just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
