I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
