When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
4 words: hood of his car
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
