he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
