I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
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I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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