No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
