just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation