Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Boobs speak an international language.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls