Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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