The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.