she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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