No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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