you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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