Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
