Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
