it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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