scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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