can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
