So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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