i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
