I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize