she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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