non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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