Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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