I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
