I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
