I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
