We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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