Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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