Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
