Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
