My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
