coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
