Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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