I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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