i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
