Betty ford says i'm here all night
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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