Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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