just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
