Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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