i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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