we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
