we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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