how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
