Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
