We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
As shirtless as possible
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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