I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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