I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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