dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
