So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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