Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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