I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
