Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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