I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
