Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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