Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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