My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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