there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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