Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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